I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
