I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
