69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
