If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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