I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
