We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
It was confusing and full of hummus
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
