If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
