My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
