Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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