i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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