just tell him i said nine months
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
