It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
