she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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