You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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