Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
