I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
