someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
