turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
