whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
