the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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