if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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