i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
