benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
