Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
