Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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