Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
