i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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