I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
