I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
