ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Is it penis luge time yet?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
