im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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