So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
