so explain again why im purple
no
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
