those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
