last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I want to be your penis for a week.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
