Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
