i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
