so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
