she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
