its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
