Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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