it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
