your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
