My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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