Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just pee around me
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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