i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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