Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
organizing the empties. That sober.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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