I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
ugly people sure do ruin things
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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