it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
