im gay
i know
yea but for you.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
