Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
